Who throws a Shoe? Honestly?!

I have to say that the shoe throwing (in my mind) has eclipsed the whole choking on a pretzel incident as one of the dumbest and most amusing events in Bush's presidency. That being said, it was wholly insulting (read the NYTimes article linked to the title of this post). But again... the dude threw a shoe.

So, I've been a bit MIA. My bad. I've been on a psych rotation, and it's taken all of my energy not to hurl myself out a window. Note to self: Psych is off the table. It's been the most depressing 6 weeks of my life, and I've found more crazy in myself than I ever thought existed... and ever want to discover again. Did you know I have a problem with open cupboards? I mean... I really do. *sigh*

The good news is that I've been getting out of Dublin from time to time. I went down to Kerry on Thanksgiving weekend with a horde of peeps that was an amazing group. We cooked a 17lbs turkey (17-lbs!!!) in a little bitty oven. We went swimming in the sea (and as you can imagine, it was quite cold) twice! We did a pub crawl through the town's two pubs. And we did it all with child like glee... at least, that's how I did it.



The following weekend, I took off for Paris. Why Paris? Why not Paris! It was a great time. Though it turns out my french is a little worse for the lack of wear. Maybe 6 years away from a language is a little much... But I still understand a lot of it. I just can't speak it very well. Anywho, a weekend in Paris was just what the crazy doctors ordered.


The Tuesday I got back was the Christmas Concert followed by mulled wine and minced pies (yum!). I think we put on a kicking concert! I managed to sing a quasi-solo in spite of my near vomiting nerves about singing in front of people. I've overcome the whole singing thing as long as I'm not the ONLY one singing.

I threw a little Christmas party on Thursday that involved egg nog, mulled wine, christmas cookies, and decorating my apartment for the season... I'll have to take a photo of that before I head out. Then had a dinner party on Saturday (I'm so civilised). Now I'm looking at the last week of the semester, last week of psych (thank God), and last week in Dublin before heading home for Christmas. I'm so ready to go home. It's -17 in MN (-8F). And there's SNOW! I love snow. One more piss-up (Thurs), one more party (Fri), one more day to shop (Sat) and a day to clean and pack (Sun) and then I'm home! Can't wait!

Peace,
~Liz

Shout Out!

If you click on the "Shout Out" above... You'll hear the interview on the Will Leahy show that Rob Maschio did. We at RCSI, the Surgical Society, and ME!!! We got shout outs... awesome.

Back in the Game

Ok, I know it's been nearly a month. Sorry. I got back to Dublin and was sent out to Kilkenny for a 6 week Med/Surg rotation. But I like Kilkenny. St Luke's Hospital is great, the people down there are wonderful, and the town is a cute little medieval place. I just wish I had internet and tv down there. Living out of a suitcase gets old very quickly though. It's almost over though, and I'll be back in Dublin full time (at least until Christmas)

I have 2 cool things to talk about that have happened since I got back to Dublin.

1) I managed to pull off the Todd event. Rob Maschio came to RCSI and gave a one hour chat to a packed lecture theater, we took him out to dinner, then out for a night on the town. And, in spite of the fact that it was a Wednesday, we were out until 3am. I was asked, and conducted, an interview over a late breakfast and coffee... I'll post the article when I get done writing it. And then we did a group dinner on Saturday night. It was great week. It worked out surprisingly well.

Yeah... that's me and Rob, probably at the Swan (I know this because I don't look entirely intoxicated).

2) I just finished the Dublin marathon. I'm ridiculously sore (mostly because I didn't train as hard as last time, and I'm carrying around a little extra weight that I didn't have last time), but I finished in 5 hours. Finished being the operative word. It wasn't pretty, but I finished. I'm quite proud of myself :)

That little red blob is the victor of "Survivor: Gummy Bear." I had 27 gummy bears in a bag, and ate one for every mile. So, if you guessed "red," you won.

I spent about an hour last night putting together a playlist for the marathon. I ended up with like 8 hours of music (and obviously didn't need that much), but I have a few highlights from the race.
* Mile 0 (at the starting line): Erasure - Respect. It was a great start song, and... the start of a marathon is ridiculously anti-climactic. The gun goes off and you stand there for a few minutes before you move. Then you start trotting for about a mile before the crowd thins enough to actually pick up to the normal pace.
* Mile 8: Kanye West - Stronger. This is one of those songs that's brilliant to run to. And at mile 8-ish there are a series of hills that are quite rough. But it's an amped up song that helped me get through the hills.
* Mile 10 (I think): MIA - Paper Planes. Enda, this is what I was rocking out to when I nearly missed you.
* Mile 18: Kansas - Carry on My Wayward Son. I was suffering around mile 16, so 18 was just getting worse. And I really wanted to walk. But this came on and helped me keep going for a bit longer.
* Mile 20: Simon & Garfunkle - Cecilia. This song is impossible to stand still to. It was a nice little kick at the time, that and Knut and Hana waving.
* Mile 24: Pretenders - 500 Miles. I know this song is pure cheese. But seriously, I was dying. The irony is too much and I started to laugh. Now, laughing is a little painful at 24 miles, but smiling when you run helps your running posture and relaxes you.
* Mile 26.2 (Finish Line): Journey - Any Way You Want It. I only remember this because it took me a while to turn off the ipod... mostly because I couldn't find the buttons, then I couldn't get my headphones off. *sigh*

Other interesting intrusions: The Doors - Riders on the Storm, Offspring - Pretty Fly for a White Guy, and Dr. Evil and Mini-Me - Hard Knock Life (hilarious).

Anyway, that's my run down on that... Now I'm going to lie flat for the rest of the day :)

On Mac Trucks and Other Large Vehicles

Have you ever felt like you've been hit by a Mac Truck, but you can't be sure... and the fact that you can't be sure just makes you a little more convinced that it probably did happen? Well, that's where I am right now.

Since I last updated, I've gone through a whirlwind adventure of ... um... sugar and shit? With my health questionable, I had a rough go of studying. I did get a massage, which helped a bit with the migraines. That was a nice relief.

I went to ND. Studied on the drive down. Hit South Bend (official No-Study zone), went to dinner with my friends, had a beer, and fainted again. (Vito, I'm so so so sorry for freaking you out). Apparently, my blood pressure and heart rate were so low that sitting in a car for 8+ hours, being a little dehydrated, having a bit of a low blood sugar moment, and feeling like I'm going to be sick adds up to fainting as well. This has led to the conclusion that it's vaso-vagal and probably a relic of last years erosive gastritis. Couple that with the running I was on a break from and I just hit the floor. I really need to be careful about these things. The worst bit was that we were out at a bar. Anywhere else and I'd have laid down until the sensation passed. No such luck, and I still wound up on the floor. Boo.

ND beat the tar out of Michigan. Woot! It was pouring in the morning until nearly 10. This dampened the tailgate spirit a bit, but it was still a fun morning. I got hang out with the Dillon guys and co., and my little brother (who came down from Ann Arbor to relish in the Wolverine defeat) and his friend Rico (a scrawny, blond, white kid... where did the name Rico come from? no clue). Then it cleared up and we had a dry 1st half... highlighted by paratroopers delivering the game ball, two Michigan fumbles on successive kick returns that led to a 17-0 score at the half. Then the skies opened. I blame the Michigan band for playing *Nsync, 98 degrees, and Backstreet Boys... ND slugged back with a bit of Bon Jovi, a little more appropriate, I'd say. The entire 2nd half was drenching rains. But I still enjoyed it. PS: my seats were absolutely unbeatable (Thank you dad!).

Sunday was an early morning drive in the rain back to MN. I wasn't feeling at the top of my game, but I studied on the way back, all afternoon, all night, and then Mon as well. Tues was the day before D-day, so I did minimal studying that day and tried to relax. Now, seeing a funny movie would be a great way to relax, but the movie I wanted to see had been bumped for a preview of a crappy movie and I had to change plans at the last minute. So, Bill and I saw Bangkok Dangerous... There are no words. I had invasive thoughts about that movie during my Step.

Took the step on Wed. No clue how it went. Really... No idea at all.

Tried to lay low on the last few days I had in MN. I went out with Hayes, met her boy (which was fun to do... I like having faces to go with names). Went to the ND v. MichState game watch and ran into Michael Rossman (haven't seen the kid in ages!) so while the game wasn't great, the game watch was a good time. Went home to a nice, late, Larkin Family Dinner... went until midnight... crazy. And met Garin for coffee the next day (and I hadn't seen her in a long time either). Quote of that conversation: "Now, I don't know how many trannies do this, but..." Hilarious!

I sort of hit the ground at a rough stumble in Ireland on Tuesday the 23rd. This was in part due to general disorientation at coming home after being home for 3 months... it was a little weird. But probably a little more to do with my 9:30pm flight out of JFK was delayed and ended up taking off at 12:30am, they didn't turn off the lights on the flight, and served dinner an hour into the flight... I mean, really? So I had just about the worst jet lag in recent history.

Orientation was slow, brutal and dirty. I found out just how challenging Med/Surg is going to be (and the 30 tests that accompany it). Plus, I'm not down in Kilkenny until Monday week because I'm in Beaumont doing this special one week thing about emergency med. It sounds like a cool course, but I wasn't expecting it, or expecting to do it right away. It's just nuts. I completed my BLS again this morning (CPR and Heart Saver). My instructor was the saving grace of the day... Kept me and Cara laughing pretty much the whole time. I think this year should be great, but at the moment I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. But, my floor still looks like my suitcase vomited, so that's probably a bit of the problem.

Tomorrow I start studying. Monday I start work. So today, I pissed around all afternoon. Yay!

On a side note: Congrats to Mary who is graduating (finally) this weekend from Oxford for all that Masters work she did before RCSI.

Marathon:
So, it's up in the air. I need to run this week, get my legs back, and the final day to register for the marathon is Oct 6th (for the 27th). I go back and forth on it. We'll see... that's all I can say.


Summer Soundtrack:

1. Life in a Nutshell - Barenaked Ladies
2. Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
3. How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty
   
4. In Da Club - 50 cent
5. Handlebars - Flobots
   
6. When I Grow Up - Pussycay Dolls
   
7. Time to Pretend - MGMT
   
8. Vampire Weekend - A-Punk
9. Troublemaker - Weezer
10. Viva la Vida - Coldplay
11. Paper Planes - M.I.A
12. Breathe, Stretch, Shake - Mase (this is for attitude going into the USMLE)
13. Chelsea Dagger - The Fratellis (this is for attitude when the USMLE was done)
14. Her Eyes - Pat Monahan (this was just about the sweetest dedication I've ever gotten... Totally blushing over this one. Thank you)
15. Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day (The closer of this list... so sad... but appropriate. Here's to the end of the summer and the end of the summer play list. It's been a kick. And I will keep this play list on my itunes in memory of the summer that was what it's been)
    

T-minus 10 days

This week started strong and wound up in the gutter. After Wednesday, the only time I felt reasonably ok was during the ND football game on Sat (and then, it had nothing to do with what I was watching on the big screen). I have, unfortunately, come down with something of a late summer flu... which set off a series of migraines... which, because of the low-grade fever and aches, don't seem to respond to my normal anti-migraine action... which makes it really hard to read... which means that studying has been near impossible... And that I've been feeling like crap.

I've decided to handle this with the grace and poise of a sick 5 year old and just stay in bed and pout. Plus, I've scheduled a deep tissue massage for tomorrow to help ward off further migraines. So... shit rolls downhill, and this stupid little flu has affected my major summer efforts.

Marathon Week #11: 9/1-9/7
After a light week last week, I attacked this week to hit every run, and I was doing really well. I felt great after the 5 mile runs, and actually really good after 10 miles. This is a little inpart to the change in weather that brought the 6am temp down to 50. BUT... after my run and lift on Thursday, I came down with a fever, malaise, and myalgias. (look at me talk med-jibberish) Friday is my day off, so I did some lite stretching, but I really crashed friday mid-day. That meant no early morning on Sat, no 10 miles on Sat, and certainly no 20 miles today. I was feeling much much better today, but crashed at about 3pm. I'm going to do a light cross train tomorrow, maybe a little lifting and decide if I'm going to run on Tuesday based on how I feel after the massage.

USMLE Update:
Again, studied strong Mon-Thurs... then came the migraines which mean blurry vision. Anyway, I'm pretty much gearing up to take this test. I don't feel like I'm 100% prepared, but I don't think I'll ever be. But I feel like I'm preparing to take this test rather than trying to not fail. It's a much better place to be than I was before.

Summer Soundtrack:

1. Life in a Nutshell - Barenaked Ladies
2. Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
3. How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty
   
4. In Da Club - 50 cent
5. Handlebars - Flobots
   
6. When I Grow Up - Pussycay Dolls
   
7. Time to Pretend - MGMT
   
8. Vampire Weekend - A-Punk
9. Troublemaker - Weezer
10. Viva la Vida - Coldplay
11. Paper Planes - M.I.A (Great song... note to self: don't cruise around downtown Mpls while the convention is going on and the cops are out with this blasting from the car... Cops don't like the sound of gunshots.)
    

Light at the end of the tunnel

Is it the end? ...or is it an oncoming train?

Things are still all up and down. I'm going through more mood swings than a pregnant woman (and no! I'm not pregnant). At the moment, I just want this disaster to be over. I'm trying to break up my study days (and I'm up to about 9 hours of studying each day) with some running and maybe an hour of mindless tv (gotta love CSI-Vegas and the Closer for that). Plus, I'm isolating myself in a soundless room for about 3 straight hours so I can get used to working in boredom. That's about my all that's going on in my life.

I go out for a drink every now and then with friends to try and remind myself to be normal and socialized... it works... sort of. But I have my calendar set for the rest of the summer to get things taken care of.

My cousin Kate (who was married at the end of June) emailed pictures from the event. I have two new fave picts from it:

I look so short! (and the sad part is, I'm wearing 3 inch heels)... Oh well. Don't my brothers look classy? I think that second pict looks like something out of a GQ magazine... at least Joe does. Mike looks like he probably has a gun and is threatening someone who made a crass comment. But they're great picts.

In other news, Brent got engaged! So uber congrats to Brent and Kate!!!

Marathon Week #10: 8/25-8/31
I decided to take a light week on the running to refresh myself. I was really burning out energy-wise, and I think I needed the break. I have one tough week next week, then a light week before the USMLE. I'll still have a month when I get back to Dublin to tighten up my training and decide if the marathon is going to happen. I think if the USMLE is done, it'll be a lot easier... Hm... a marathon... easy... I'm sick.

USMLE Update:
After some massive panicking, I've spoken with some people that calmed me down. My test is set for the 17th of Sept, which is just about the last feasible day before I leave for Dublin (Sept 22). I think I want to do this and be done. I keep freaking out though. I'm not sure if I'm more scared of failing or of doing well enough to just pass and being stuck with a weak score. But... I think I can get around a weaker score with Step 2 and my interviews... I hope. I don't think it would behove me to try and take this at Christmas. *Sigh* I just want to be a good doctor. And part of me is resistant to the idea that I need to know all of this crap to do that. I know it's another hoop... but it's high, and it's on fire... I'm sick of jumping through hoops. Here's to two more weeks of studying.

Summer Soundtrack:

1. Life in a Nutshell - Barenaked Ladies
2. Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
3. How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty
   
4. In Da Club - 50 cent
5. Handlebars - Flobots
   
6. When I Grow Up - Pussycay Dolls
   
7. Time to Pretend - MGMT
   
8. Vampire Weekend - A-Punk
9. Troublemaker - Weezer
10. Viva la Vida - Coldplay (I'm totally addicted to this song. I just love it, and it's so mellowdramatic)
    

My Eyeballs Hurt

It's been a week of ups and downs... Lots of them... all over... and it's hard to say what I think about them because there hasn't been the time to think, except about USMLE High Yield stuff.

For starters, Friday was my baby bro's birthday. He flinches every time I call him my baby brother, so I like to do it as much as possible. But for the record, he's 23 now... what a geezer. Kidding. He's awesome. We didn't really "do" much for his birthday, but we had all 6 Larkins in one room for a meal, and that happens so rarely now. Plus it was great food, and good humor. Unfortunately, I can't repeat things that were said. Either they're too dirty, they're too non-PC, or they name names and that's just wrong. But it was an amusing dinner/drinks.

Jesse was in town (I think he leaves tomorrow), and we went out to dinner to catch up. I feel like I dominated the conversation a little (small side-effect of sitting with books all day and talking to no one... I become more of a chatter box than normal). Jesse's now engaged (I'm super excited for him, because Nora-from what I've seen of her-is great!) and planning the wedding while getting ready to start up a Masters program. Some of my friends are so cool.

Marathon Week #9: 8/18-8/24
Well. Hm. I missed the long run again this week. This is getting annoying. But, I'm cutting myself some slack. I can do hour and a half long runs, but if I'm giving up 3+ hours, it starts to stress me out (see the USMLE below). Plus, Sunday morning was rough. I'm not going to say I was hung over, because there wasn't enough alcohol to do that. But between the lamb (I don't eat red meat all that often), the potato, the garlic veggies (I'm mildly allergic to garlic... but it tastes SO good), the beer, the wine, and the really really sweet cake... I had like a long-running food coma. I was in no shape to run at 7am. Especially not a 12 miler.

I did hit every other run I was supposed to do this week, plus my two days of lifting, and two days of yoga. I changed my run schedule to right when I get up (between 6:45 and 7:15 every morning). It gets me revved up for the day, and I can sit for about four hours after on a nice little study binge. Plus, a spoonful of peanut butter gets me through the run and I can have a big bowl of fruit and cereal when I get home. It works better with my eating and my studying, so I'm going to stick to it. I may take a light jog the morning of the test too... just for the heck of it.

If it really is week 9 (and I'll have to check to make sure that's correct), I have another 9 weeks before the marathon... which sounds right. That's enough time to get my long runs going after the big test day. So I'm sticking with that idea for now. I think a lot will depend on how I work out running with whatever my schedule is at RCSI. But I'm going to keep it on the horizon.

USMLE Update:
This is where I had my worst swings. I took my second NBME, and failed it. I just passed the first and just failed the second. I freaked out. Really really freaked out. (Big thank you to Lianne for being the ever wonderful voice of reason). As a result, I amped up my studying. I'm running about 7 hours of productive studying each day (and maybe an hour more that's a complete waste). It's hard to sit still that long. It's hard to read that much. It's hard to write notes that often (It's how I learn... it's slow and stupid but it's how I learn). But, I'm getting further every day. I turned around and creamed three Kaplan quizzes in a row. Like, killed them. To which I say, WTF?

It's all rumors and conjecture. Who knows what you'll see on the test, how it will be worded, how you'll understand it at the time. But, I've been keeping track of a few things. 1) my overall % is going up. 2) my tests are consistently better. 3) I'm taking more of the alloted time to do the tests. 4) I've stopped changing answers (this was the worst.). Plus, I'm getting the hang of the software. I take a 3rd NBME tomorrow. Depending on how it goes, I'm giving myself Saturday off. I won't make it to the test on this schedule without a day off. It's good to know. I think I'll go see a movie with my mom.

Speaking of the test day, I've pushed that back. It was originally set for August 29th. After my freak out, i moved the test. It's not Sept 9th. It's still before the ND v. Mich game, but it gave me a two week extension that has already been to my advantage. We'll see how I'm feeling next week on this.

Summer Soundtrack:

1. Life in a Nutshell - Barenaked Ladies
2. Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
3. How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty
   
4. In Da Club - 50 cent
5. Handlebars - Flobots
   
6. When I Grow Up - Pussycay Dolls
   
7. Time to Pretend - MGMT
   
8. Vampire Weekend - A-Punk
9. Troublemaker - Weezer (I don't know why this song inspires me, but it does. It makes me laugh, and right now, that's what I need. So, week 9 = troublemaker)
   

WTF?

Hi Friends,

So, I've been MIA for the last 2 weekly posts and a day late on this one... Wtf, right? It's simple, I'm slowly going insane. This has to do with a combination of studying, friends being in town, friends leaving town, me leaving town, studying, trying to get my address changed on every legal document required, studying, stuff for Surg Soc, running, studying... sigh. Needless to say it wasn't all bad.

First, I went out to Taylor Falls (WI) to hang out with Lydia, her friend Sarah, her brother, and the dog up at the cabin. It was a great afternoon/evening/morning of relaxation away from my books... I only brought one with me (it was hard). But we went boating and the weather was perfect for it. We had a huge dinner of just about everything, where everyone made something to contribute, and then just chilled for the night. I got up earlier than everyone else and decided to take the dog for a run with me (4 miles... and the dog put me to shame!). We had coffee and breakfast at a local coffee shop and headed back to the TC. It was a short trip, but it was fun.

Em got back in town just before I got back from Wisconsin. I love hanging out with Em. Actually, it was with Em and Kurt (I sort of assume it's the two of them together) for boating and dinner and catching up on life. I sometimes worry about hanging out with couples (it's getting to be that time in my life where there are about as many couples as singles), but Em and Kurt are so much fun to be around, and I've never felt like a third wheel with them. I think it comes from a certain level of comfort with each other that puts everyone else at ease. Regardless, I'm never worried that I'm going to say something that will spark an argument... and that's saying a lot considering how much time my foot spends in my mouth.

I drove out to Chicago (yes, again). It turns out that Chicago is about halfway between Minneapolis and Saginaw, which is where Aidan is spending his summer. It also turns out that the "Empire Builder" line that runs between Chicago and Mpls is extremely popular (perhaps due to the upcoming Republican Convention) and was sold out. So, Lydia and I drove our little butts out there... made record-breaking poor time in the process. It only took five hours or so to get to O'Hare airport, but due to both the Chisox and Cubbies playing home games at 7pm, it took three hours to get from O'Hare to the South Loop (most of which, I'd thrown my car in neutral and coasted, and I got off 94/90 asap and onto Halstead... which was remarkably fast at 30mph). It was a long drive. BUT Pete ordered Lou's Pizza before I got there and we ate fabulous deep dish for dinner. And again, Pete is awesome and let me crash in his apartment with little to no prior notice.

We drove back to MN the very next day, heavy one goofy Irish dude, whom we subjected to steak sandwiches in Chicago before heading west. I should comment that Aidan's train was roughly an hour late getting in, but I bought myself a Runner's World magazine to keep me entertained in the mean time. When we got back to MN, we rolled into the townhouse to meet Em, Kurt, Hayes and my older bro to watch the UFC fights that were going on at the Target Center (a mere 10 minutes from the house). It was much more fun than I thought it would be (which we've decided is due to amusement of watching in a group).

While Aidan was in MN, he made every effort to see that I kept studying, and I made just about every effort not to, which ended up with me studying when I got up in the morning (I'm an early riser) and most afternoons. The highlight of Aidan's stay (most amusingly) was the Irish Fair. I try to get there if I'm home, and the weather was fantastic. The review of a real Irish person: "It's a bit of pride, a little stroke, and a bit of shame... I'm not sure which one is winning out." I just find amusement in what some people consider "Irish." But I caught a little of my old dance school hardshoeing on the main stage, and we watched a Rugby exhibition. So... good times. Em and Kurt had us over for one evening to watch a bit of the Olympics and a little hottubbing... which ended up in a midnight swim in the Mississippi (it had to happen, and now Aidan can talk about the one time he went swimming in the Mississippi River).

Lydia and I hung out a few more nights, chilled, watched the Olympics, partook in Galaxy pizza (these guys deliver the pizza in these mini-scooter/cars dressed up like superheros... amazing!) and caught up on life. Lydia just left town. So the number of people I socialize with here in MN is dwindling... which is probably good, because now I have nothing to do but study (and attack my mile long To-Do list). But Hayes is here and so is Bill... so when I get really crazy, there are people to bring me back to reality (thank goodness).

I just saw "Pineapple Express" last night... um... HILARIOUS! And I had the distinct impression that the movie would have been even more amusing if I had been high... except, I felt high for most of it, which may have been the point, so maybe being high would have made it more serious... I don't know. Anyone been to see it high? More amusing, I was at the 5:45 showing... the one that followed the 4:20 showing... I'm not sure I'd fit in with the crowd that attends that one.

Now, all I have on the horizon is more studying, more running, more studying, Jesse being in town, the MN State Fair (something everyone should experience), some more studying, and the USMLE.

Marathon Week #8: 8/11-8/17
This week was rough, friends. I should have registered for the marathon at the end of this week. I was gunning for a 16-miler on Sunday. Things don't always go as planned. Now, I'm seriously wondering if I'll be able to run Dublin. And it boils down to a few very serious factors.

First, I was lazy in my running early this week. I suck at running when I'm on the road (traveling, not literally on a road). So I missed my Sat and Sun runs when I was in Chicago... I could have done the Sat in the morning, but I passed it up in favor of getting a much needed pedicure. And while I lifted and cross-trained when Aidan was in town, I didn't do my runs. It's entirely my fault. I'm just bad at prioritizing running sometimes. This makes me worry about what happens when I get back to Dublin... If I'll be able to keep up the miles I need in the month before the race.

Second, I haven't been hitting my long runs. I'm excellent on my short runs and good on the mid-distances. But the long runs are coming up short. Either the heat gets to me or I just wear down too fast. Twice now I've had my body shut down a bit past 10 miles... And, while it wasn't anything like I couldn't walk, it's still frustrating and disconcerting. I have to keep reminding myself of how hard it was the first time around, and that I'm not twenty anymore. I definitely don't recover as quickly.

Third, and please don't freak out over this, yesterday I had a particularly bad experience in my long run. I was aiming for 16 miles, and pulled up short at 13 with chest pain. No, it wasn't a heart attack, or angina, or anything like that. But I'll tell you, that all passed through my mind and I managed to pitch myself into a little panic attack. (I hate panic attacks, I rarely have them, but if you don't know what they're like... they're horrible and they do nothing to calm you down when you have chest pain)... The pain was actually a cramp in my right pec muscle, or teres, or something, don't argue with me on this. Regardless of which muscle it was, the point is that it cramped up (probably because of the knots in my shoulder and neck muscles) and it really, REALLY aggravated the still healing break in my rib. I've been trying to rebuild the muscle I lost after breaking my ribs and every-so-often there's some pain involved. Bony pain is much different than angina pain, Trust me (I'm a doctor). But it still freaked me out. I had to walk and massage out the cramp while trying to get my breathing to return to normal. It scared the piss out me really... And I know it's going to make it hard for me to head out on the remaining long runs I have this summer.

Finally, and this is ridiculous, and I wish I didn't know myself this well, I'm scared. I'm scared of commitment. And I'm terrified of failure. The last time I tackled a marathon, I was out there with something to prove, but it had nothing to do with commitment and it was in attempt to overcome what I viewed as a serious and personal failure. And I was really really angry... I'm not angry anymore, and I'm not trying to run away from a failure (literally or figuratively), which means that it's all about whether or not I can perform. That's scary. Plus, the running is a huge commitment. I hate commitment; just ask any of my ex-boyfriends. I feel like I've already thrown so much into Medicine right now and made huge life decisions in that realm that another commitment is just too much. I know it's just a run. I do. But... this is what goes on in my head.

So... do I run Dublin? I dunno... we'll have to see. Anyone have any advice?

USMLE Update:
I've hacked away at a butt load of Cardio (stuff that I should have learned first year that I'm just understanding now... seriously, how did I pass first year?) and piecewise Immunology, Pharmacology, Embryology, and Biochem (ooh, my fav!). My scores on Kaplan are coming up, but I'm not sure it's coming up enough. I'll take another NBME tomorrow (I keep putting this #2 NBME off... enough!). But, friends, I think I've made the decision to put off the USMLE by 2 weeks. I know this goes against most advice, but it took so long for me to overcome the burnout of the Exams-OSCE combo that I only started being really productive recently. C'est La Vie. I know that it's only a test (and not the most important day in my medical career)... but it's a test that counts for a hell of a lot. I don't want to take it just to be stubborn and have to battle a poor score when looking for residencies. I wish I could just plug my brain into a computer and download all the information (ala Matrix)... that would be awesome. Sadly, it's not how it works. So... back to the book. Btw, I purchased Kaplan Med Essentials at the beginning of the summer. That book is brilliant. I'll be recommending it to many many people.

Summer Soundtrack: (and this is making up for the missing weeks)

1. Life in a Nutshell - Barenaked Ladies
2. Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
3. How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty
   
4. In Da Club - 50 cent
5. Handlebars - Flobots
   
6. When I Grow Up - Pussycay Dolls (A little tribute to the fact that all this stupid studying is entirely my fault... Be careful what you wish for...)
7. Time to Pretend - MGMT (I'm loving this song. It's a summer anthem of sorts)
8. Vampire Weekend - A-Punk (and this isn't because Tom has put this in about three of his last five pod casts, it's because it's an awesome song and I've been rocking out to it for the past few weeks)

And that's all for this week... I'm back on schedule and will be posting next Sunday again.

Peace!

Papi is Back!

Yeah... I'm a Sox fan. Who do I root for? The Sox, sometimes the Twins, and whoever's playing the Yankees. (Old joke that never gets old)

I think Youk should have punched Chamberlain in the head. I know Beckett was ready to go. I think Bucholtz looks like he's 12. I think Lester pitches a mad game. And I'm glad Papi's back and in working order. He's a major offensive threat, he's a stand-up guy, and he keeps Manny in line. With Papi back in the line up, they have to pitch to him or Manny, and for some reason, Manny hits better with Papi around. What do I think about Manny? He's not going to be traded by the deadline, he's too much of a hassle. He produces from time-to-time when he's actually in the game and he causes problems off the field. What do I think the Sox should do with him? Keep him until the end of the season and don't pick up the option. Let him go. He's been great, so was Nomar... but let it go. Frees up $20mil for other players (like another bat, or some mid-relievers). But you know what... I love Sox Baseball. Thank God I have a slingbox for next year. I don't know what I'd do without baseball and college football for another year. Good thing I can study with sports on in the background, eh?


Marathon Week #5: 7/21-7/27
This was the first week I was actually on schedule for my runs. As such, I was reminded of how much I hate Thursdays. Friday is a rest day, Monday is crosstraining, so it's not actually a day off. That means that by the time Thursday rolls around, I haven't had a break for 6 days. If I'm not on schedule (ie: I took a rest day on like Tuesday because of a sore muscle or rain out), I may not have had a day off for 10 days. That's what this Thursday was... the 3 miler that should have been cake was brutal. Plus, I've started weights on Mondays and Thursdays, so my muscles are adjusting to that too. Good news, Bad news time. Good news: I ran every day this week that I was supposed to. Bad news: my Sunday 14-mile run didn't happen. I had to call it at about 7 miles due to rain (and I don't mean that it was sprinkling... it was an absolute downpour about 5 miles in. I had to wait it out because I couldn't see... then I cramped up because I was standing still as the temp dropped about 5 degrees... so I called it at 7 miles when I got back to my car). I think I'll divvy up those extra 7 miles over the rest of this week to cover them. But I really need to hit my long runs. I think this week is like 15 miles... rock.

USMLE Update:
I've been working on my Resp med since that's what I really suck at (according to NBME) I've thrown in a little biochem here and there where I've been able to tolerate it. I think this week i'm going to focus on some Cardio... I'm still having trouble studying. It doesn't help that I'm between houses and putting up with various scheduled fix it moments. My pets are very demanding. And I'm very easily distracted. *Sigh* But there's only 5 weeks left. Time to kick it into high gear.

Summer Soundtrack:

1. Life in a Nutshell - Barenaked Ladies
2. Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
3. How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty
   
4. In Da Club - 50 cent
5. Handlebars - Flobots (I think I really like this song... I haven't quite decided. There are moments that are very tongue-in-cheek and extremely American. So, until I decide whether I love or hate this song, it's going on week 5 of the summer soundtrack)
   

Ups and Downs

Well, it has been an eventful week.

First, I spent last weekend in Michigan. First, hanging with my lil'bro Joe at his new rocking pad (sponsored by Google). I am now a fan of Guitar Hero and Rock Band... this does not bode well for my studies. If you don't know my lil'bro Joe, he's a cool guy. He really is. It was great to spend time with him (even if I had to go to Michigan to do so)... He promised me that he pisses on the Michigan campus all the time. While there, we caught a Detroit Tigers vs. MN Twins game at Comerica Park with the lovely Colby and Tim. Sadly for them, the Tigers lost. But that meant that the Twins won. Go Twins! (We know I'm a Sox fan, but it is the hometown team). Saturday was dedicated to Emilie and Kurt. Joe drove me out to Leonard, MI... I still don't really know where that is, but it's the middle of nowhere. Then I met a ton of Kurt's family and friends. It was an absolute blast. It was so wonderful to have the opportunity to meet Kurt's "people." Sunday, Joe and I both nursed our late night lazy with Zingerman sandwiches, Speedracer at the dollar theater and Pizza from a small place near his apartment (that was AMAZING). So... While I may not be a huge fan of Michigan, I had a good time :)

I spent Monday driving through Michigan (which did nothing for my opinion of the state) on my way to Chicago. I took a quick pit stop at ND to say a prayer at the Grotto (and if you've never seen the Grotto at ND, you may not understand, but it's a beautiful place... especially in the summer when it's nice and quiet) and to drop off something for the ACE 15 year celebration. Since I can't be there, I thought I'd leave a little something for my class. Then I was off to Northbrook to meet Adam for lunch (thanks for a lovely lunch!). I came back into downtown Chicago to crash with Pete and have a birthday dinner (yay good Mexican food!) with Vito, Shannon, Pete, and Nick (and thanks for a lovely dinner!). So basically I celebrated my birthday a day early, met Tim for breakfast (I owe you dinner now) and spent Tuesday in the car driving from Chicago to Minneapolis. There was some disappointing traffic and a number of cops that slowed the trip a bit, but it was great to roll onto highway 100 and speed home.

Fast-forward to Friday, I helped my parents move house. We haven't sold the old one yet, so my lil'bro Mike and I are living in house and my parents are unpacking in the brownstone. It's a little weird to have these random empty rooms here and be slowly moving my stuff into a new room, but I study at the house and it's nice and quiet. I went out to breakfast with my dad. Resurrecting an old tradition of father-daughter Perkins trips, we had a nice long breakfast and chat. I love my dad. After the move, we had a joint birthday dinner for my mom (her birthday was Friday) and me! Yay! It was a really fun, silly, fancy dinner (lacking Joe... we missed you Joe), with good food, good conversation, good times. I love my family. PS: Dan... you're still in the hole for knowing about shows on lifetime. And my dad lost a bet to Mike over the actress playing the daughter in Commando (in case you don't know who it is, don't bet on Terri Hatcher and don't bet against Mike, I think he majored in "Young girls in movies").

Marathon Week #4: 7/14-7/20
I was supposed to run 31 miles this week. And this week, I ran... (duh duh dah!) 31.5 miles! WOOT! I still have a running debt of like 35 miles (thanks to my travel laziness), but I ran 13 miles today. I'm unashamed to say that took me nearly 3 hours, but I was on a running clock, meaning that I didn't stop my watch for anything (except when I was in the act of drinking from a fountain). So, it's fairly respectable. Plus, I'm good for 6 miles cold now... it's about 1/4th of the marathon distance, and I'm 1/4th of the way into training. I think that bodes well. We'll see if I can chip away at that running debt at all in the next week, but I'm quite happy to be logging 30+ miles in a week.

USMLE Update:
According to NBME, I'm suited for Psychiatry and that's about it. I took my first practice test, and I passed... by like one point. I figure it's my first try, and that's not terrible, but I need to do better. I need to buckle down and really work... Boo... The good news is that I'm doing really well in Behavioral Sciences, GI, and Anatomy (thank you TF). But my worst go was Resp... surprise surprise. So... here's to studying a lot of Resp, and no more BS studying... at all.

Summer Soundtrack:

1. Life in a Nutshell - Barenaked Ladies
2. Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
3. How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty
   
4. In Da Club - 50 cent (It was my birthday week... and this reminds me of my 21st, rocking out on a party bus... Go Shorty! It's yer birthday! We gonna party like it's yer birthday...)
   

Traveling makes me stupid

Well, that's not entirely accurate. I just don't do what I normally do when I'm traveling. I seem to have so much less energy... Plus, I feel like if I'm away from home, I'm on vacation! And who doesn't need a vacation?!... I do, I do.

Since I missed the Sunday update, I'll just give the abbreviated one here and a big one this coming Sunday. Questions, Comments, Concerns? There's a brickwall ah-that-a-way.

Marathon Week #3: 7/7-7/13
This week went well... until I left town. I could blame the thunderstorms in Ann Arbor, I could blame the heat and humidity, but really... I was lazy. Lazy and on someone else's time. And I don't like to be an inconvenience. But I will say that I was great Monday-Thursday :) Go me! Looking to get back on track ASAP.

USMLE Update:
I am officially in a fight with Biochem... Perhaps we will no longer be friends. Instead, I'm giving two days to Behavioral Sciences so that I can feel better about myself as a person (look at all the diseases I DON'T have!) and then I'll take my first NBME practice test... fun times. Here's to another 6 weeks of this.

Summer Soundtrack:

1. Life in a Nutshell - Barenaked Ladies
2. Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
3. How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty (Mini tribute to the GEPs and the fact that we're basically 1/2 way. Also to all the good friends, old and newish, that I got to hang with this past week... I mean, if I knew you in college, that's at least 5 years, in high school, that's at least 9 years... Dude, we've gone a long way, right?)

Hugs!

So, just before I left Dublin, I was walking down Grafton street and was "accosted by huggers."

I kid you not, there were people in the middle of Grafton holding signs that said "Free Hugs." While that might be otherwise disturbing, one of my friends told me that it was just about the best hug they'd had in a long time. I have three things to say about that:

1) Mad props to the people giving away free hugs. It's a great idea. It's friendly and warm and happy and makes me think of puppies, kitties, rainbows and carebears. (CareBear Stare!)

2) How sad is it that we get better hugs from strangers than from the people we know?

3) I give great hugs :)

And here's a video of people doing something similar around the world...

Getting Back in the Swing

Now that I've had a bit of time to adjust to being back in the States, I have a few things to say about it:

A) Driving is just as fun as I remember it... I like driving fast with the windows down and the radio up. Now I just need to get to Detroit next week and pick up my car. I'll be cruising back through South Bend, Chicago and Madison on 80-90... Sweet! 10 hours of rock out drive time.
B) Prices in MN strike me as so much more reasonable than in Dublin. Perhaps it's the lack of exchange rate, but I'm glad I can afford to buy coffee from Caribou every now and again.
C) American news is as self-centered as I remember it, and that makes it somewhat hilarious. And the dominating news story is whatever the latest media outing of the presidential candidates produced, which is normally very little and pointless.
D) Burgers, Pizza, Hot Dogs... Done better here than in Ireland. Guinness... totally not drinkable here. I feel that this is a balanced trade.
E) 4th of July - a national holiday where we grill burgers, drink beer (my family plays "extreme" croquette and boccie on our very hilly front lawn) and then we light shit on fire! "Celebrate the freedom of your country by blowing up a small piece of it!" Canada has a similar celebration on the 1st. But I'm not totally sure what they're celebrating. The 4th is about throwing off the oppressive shackles of the British (especially their obsession with Tea... seriously... wtf). Now, since Canada never actually distanced themselves from England, I suppose it's a celebration of... being not quite British, not quite American, but just all-around nice buggers.
F) Red Sox Baseball... that is all.

Ok. Random picture time. Here's the my cousin and her new husband in their first dance. She looks amazing! This is what I want in my wedding, cause let's face it, I won't get married until I'm in my 30s either. But it was one of those great, elegant events. And the black and whit just adds an excellent touch.

I had a really fun 4th of July. It's rare that all 6 of us are together for anything, but we did our annual Extreme Games on the front lawn. There a little bit of casual competition involved, but it's "Extreme"
because the lawn generally isn't cut for the week leading up to the 4th (it gets rather long and rough... and it's impossible to see the Boccie jack when it's tossed), plus the steepness of the slopes makes the croquette a bit of a challenge. And as always, the games are complicated or made better by what my brother refers to as "Talent Juice" which comes in a wide variety of flavors. Anyway. 2 hours of games then off to ICC for dinner and fireworks. The fireworks this year were expressly impressive with the addition of a rotating firework turret. Bill was quite brave to join us, but it made the teams fair... even though I apparently suck at croquette.

Marathon Week #2: 6/30-7/6
This week went well. I covered 25 of the 27 miles I was supposed to, running 5 days, resting one, and xtraining the other. It's pretty much all on schedule. The weather was perfect for running, except for today (hence the 2mile deficit). There was no way I could run the 11 miles. It was nearly 95 degrees when I left the house, but I'm sure the heat index was much higher. It was humid and perfectly still with absolutely no cloud cover. I don't want to say how long it took me to cover the 9 miles, but it was a brutal with a bunch of walking involved. One week of running and I've already gotten all my freckles back (I have yet to rid myself of the stupid biking tan-line though).

I mentioned a hill last week that I thought was evil... well I have one here that I'm going to call Brenda. Brenda is a bitch. She's demanding and inconvenient and in the middle of every run. Eyeballing it, she's about 250 yards at a 45-50 degree incline, and appears around the corner of a gradual 300 yard uphill. I hate Brenda. And this week, she has been in every run. That'll change next week, but my overall goal is to make it up without stopping. The tough part is that it's up hill on my way back, so always about a mile before the end of my run. I'm sure my hatred for Brenda will grow over the course of the summer.

I suppose I should mention that I'm training with Hal Higdon's Intermediate II program (if you're curious you can find it at www.halhigdon.com ). He's of the philosophy that you need to clock the miles to finish the marathon. I like that policy. I don't like struggling with times and strange workouts. Plus, it helps me prove to myself that I can do the distance... and after 18 weeks of running, you can be damn sure I'll finish that marathon (more because I've been running so much to do it than because I'm prepared).

Week #2: Good week. Not a 5-star performance but I hit all the runs, and the distance will come with time. Goals for Week #3 = cover all the miles (even though I'm traveling).

USMLE Update:
I've set my test date for August 29th. I sortof started to study this week... like, I opened a book a few times, but I was still stressed over the OSCE (which I passed). Now that I can safely assume I'm headed for Senior Cycle 1, the USMLE is the only thing on my plate. Study starts tomorrow with some biochemistry for about 3-4 days. I'm going to need some time with that one, Micro, and Pharm most of all. Then I'll hit up the systems. I'll keep you in the loop as I go.

Summer Soundtrack:

1. Life in a Nutshell - Barenaked Ladies
2. Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne (This had popped up on my shuffle almost everyday this week, and I've had it in my head during all of my runs... it has a good beat, right? I'm sure it won't be the most shameful thing that ends up on this list)
   

Home Sweet Home

And I'm Home.

After a rather uneventful two weeks on Respiratory medicine (uneventful not due to my team, the team was awesome, but because the hospital is slowing down for the summer and the DANGER-Intern flip day), I had my big OSCE during which I was given a personal demonstration of proper DRE technique. Let's not talk about that. I drank on Friday, almost missed my alarm on Saturday morning, flew to NYC, drove to Greenwich, and watched my cousin get married.

The wedding, which my mom referred to as a "mature" wedding (I guess unlike the weddings I have been attending of late? True my cousin is about 10 years my senior) was lovely. We sat the Irish on one side of the church, the Dutch on the other and had a lovely little ceremony. The reception was in the Greenwich country club (beautiful location), and I started to drop sharply just after the entrée arrived. I did last through the speeches, which seemed aimed at taking pot shots at Beck (but in a nice friendly way), and through the first dance and parent dances. But I didn't stay to boogie on the floor with the fam. Quite a night though. We wrapped up with brunch at the yacht club the next morning (I was a little more awake for this, though a few people were a little green around the gills). Kate arrived to applause, only to leave again, seemingly having forgotten Beck and needing to retrieve him. I'm sure she told him to get in the car, he must have wandered off :) The brunch was really family time, and the Larkin cousins are planning a trip or something... Danger. But we had more time to catch up and chat, time to wish the newly married couple well (they're off to Bali! So Jealous!), and time for more hugs all around.

After brunch, it was back to the hotel to pack up, to the Westchester Airport (which was a pleasant change from JFK), and flight back to MN. The flight was a bit delayed coming into NY, then we were delayed sitting on the tarmac because of lightning, so we didn't get home until 9ish... and I was among the walking dead at that point.

So, I've been home and "alive" since Monday. It feels good. I'm just hanging with the fam and taking it easy. Hard core studying starts next Monday (woot) and I'll be keeping a bit of a running commentary on the USMLE (or the u-smelly according to Tom) here in the blog. Also, to keep me honest, I'll be keeping track of my marathon training here as well (see below). And the final thing, I'll be keeping track of my summer soundtrack here. Basically, there'll be a song every week that somehow has become my anthem for the few days. There'll be a running list of that.

Marathon Week #1: 6/23-6/29
Ok, I don't want to say that this week was a total bust, but it kinda was. I didn't do any running (like any at all) until Sunday... which was a lovely 4 mile (6am) run around Old Greenwich. I had found a "route" on mapmyrun.com (which I highly recommend using when you travel... or when you're at home) and proceeded to miss one of my turns. I didn't get lost, I'm pretty good at finding my way, but it did provide some lovely scenery. It's nice to be back running where there are tons of other runners around... rather than people walking and giving you strange looks. It was hot and humid (something I haven't had the pleasure of running in in quite some time) and I felt a little like Jello, but I'm blaming the jet-lag.

But Liz, why didn't you run till Sunday? Well, I thought it would be a good idea to spend my time biking in and out of school. It's a little over 8 miles each way (up hill in, down hill back). The mornings were lovely, sunny, no traffic (because I'd leave around half 6), and even though they were up hill, they were bearable. Plus, there is something nice about getting to Blanch, showering, and being fresh (the bus always leaves me with that less than fresh feeling). The afternoons... well... I didn't like them as much. The Quays were always traffic heavy, and there's nothing like feeling as though you're about to die to keep you from wanting to do something. The second day, I was absolutely drowned in Phoenix Park. The downpour was so bad that I had to stop and wait for it to let up, because I couldn't actually see anything. On Thursday, Ed rode with me, God bless him. I'm slow on a bike (especially a bike that isn't mine and is far too big for me). But he patiently waited for me at the stoplights and went slowly through the park. He even introduced me to a better way home (better except for one hill which I will henceforth call evil hill of death). Friday was the OSCE... I wasn't going to ride in, because that would merit a drunken bike home and would certainly lead to bodily injury.

Overall: Biking=Good IF you have a bike that's built for you. As Richie said, "Sure you wouldn't do surgery with a sausage... I mean, you need the right equipment, that's all."

Week #1 = Meh... Not good by any stretch of the imagination, but it wasn't a total bust. I'll catch up on the miles I owe. Goals for Week #2 = Actually run.

Summer Soundtrack:

1. Life in a Nutshell - Barenaked Ladies
   

Awkward

Reason #792 for putting screens in windows:

Coming home to find a very scared and mildly retarded sparrow flying around your room and shitting all over your books.

Seriously... the window wasn't open very much. But the little bugger found his way in, then couldn't find his way back out. I opened ALL of my windows quite wide and left the room. But no. He didn't think to leave the perch on my bookshelf until I "ushered" him out. Now I have to do more laundry to wash the bird poop off of my chair cover. And let's not mention the number of bugs I'll now have to collect around the room because I left the windows open so long to get that bird out. Why don't they believe in screens here?

What I get for being stupid

So... I haven't fainted in 9 years. And much to my shame, I managed to put myself in a position to drop while working in theatre (OR) during my surgical rotation. It's entirely my own fault, and what I'll say is this:
+ Mucho stress for about a month straight
+ Less than 3 hour sleep
+ Tequila shots
+ Very early morning
+ Unhappy stomach (re: Tequila)
+ Not eating breakfast
+ Dehydration
+ Standing on feet for 3 hours
+ Scrubbing in for a long surgery and being under the lights and retracting stuff and sweating and not moving..
______
= Fainting...
Yeah, Liz of the impervious stomach managed to bite it during surgery. Thankfully, I recognised the impending faint and got out of the gown and gloves, out of the actual OR and into a chair. I was busy putting my head between my knees and sending a friend to get me a glass of water when I hit the floor. I broke my fall with my face and my knee... Go me. So I have a nice bruise on my chin (see pict below). The impressive stat was my BP about a minute after the faint was a whopping 94/45 (normal BP = 120/80 and while I have low-normal BP, it's normally around 110/65).

If there's something very wrong with you, the Operating suite of a hospital is a great place to faint. I was on a gurney in the recovery room within 2 minutes, one of the anesthetists put an IV line into an impossible vein on the side of my wrist (he was the only one that could even find a vein at the time) and I was on fluids and glucose and O2 (totally unnecessary). However, if there's nothing really wrong with you, you're just going to embarrass yourself over and over again as you explain that you were an idiot, there's nothing wrong with you, and it wasn't the surgery that made you faint. I had to fill out an incident report and was processed through the A&E, given an ECG (all normal), and sent home early. They were all very lovely... And I think my dignity is bruised worse than anything else.

I suppose you're wondering why I was out so late drinking such things that I refuse to drink... Other than my idiocy, it's because our exam results came out. Everyone in my class passed all three exams! We are super happy! So atleast I have good reason for being an idiot, right? Yeah... maybe.

You should see the other guy...

~LLL

Back on the Grid!

Hey Friends!

I’ve resurfaced and am back on the grid. Woohoo. This round of exams was particularly rough and I studied until I couldn’t see straight (literally), then tried to balance the stress of sitting the exams with the much more tempting fun of having a bunch of ND alums in town for the ND-Ireland Reunion. So let’s start there, hm? First of all, the people who were in town were wonderful. I haven’t seen a few of my classmates in 4 years, and it was great to catch up on everyone’s lives. PS: two newly engaged couples and one recently married couple… Awesome! It was great to see everyone who was in town!

The ND 10-year Ireland Spectacular was done to the nines. And while I could not attend all of the events (studying and taking exams sadly takes precedence), the ones I did attend were put together in traditional Notre Dame pomp and class. I went to the first big dinner on Friday night that was hosted at the Mansion House just off of St. Stephen’s green. It was the “Big” dinner with the most non-ND people in attendance, and was kicked off with a bobble-head U2 band welcoming people from the street. Both of the major ND-Ireland supporters, Charles Naughton and Don Keough were in attendance with their wives and gave lovely speeches to welcome and reflect. Provost Burish also had some wonderful remarks before Fr. Scully blessed the meal with an unusual but pleasant grace. After dinner there was a performance by an a cappella Irish music group with voices that gave me chills, totally amazing.

The next night was the ND Alum Dinner in Dublin Castle. I had never actually been in the castle before that. We received a tour to begin the night, followed by a wine reception with a string quartet. The meal was in the banquet hall, and absolutely delightful. But the night actually continued with a party at the top of the Guinness Storehouse complete with a live band and free flowing pints. I perhaps stayed out a little later than I should have on both nights, but it was well worth it.

On Sunday, there was a Folk Choir Mass (they stopped by on the European tour to bless us with their voices) hosted in Trinity’s Chapel. I have to say, I was struck by the clergy in attendance. President Jenkins (on a brief touch down in Ireland) presided over the mass, flanked by both recognisable Notre Dame priests and representatives of local Irish priest (all of whom I’ve met numerous time before in my time here in Ireland). Most notably, the recently elevated Cardinal, Sean Brady, drove down from Armagh to attend and receive an honorary degree (along with Seamus Heaney). I wish I could have been a part of the other daily activities, but… school comes first.

I had four exams this term: REGUB (standing for Renal-Endocrine-GenitoUrinary-Breast), which was a hodge podge of just about any pathology you can think of; CNSLM (Central Nervous System and Locomotor) which was relatively well confined and taught; the dreaded HLTM (Hemopoietic/Lymphatic and Tropical Medicine); and then the TOSCE (team objective structured clinical assessment) which is a nice way of saying, go play doctor while this guy with a clipboard hovers and grades you. I can’t say that any of the exams went stellarly (though I’m still awaiting the results), and REGUB was just about the most difficult exam I have ever taken. I’m just crossing my fingers that I don’t have to re-sit any of them.

Once exams were finished, eighteen of us packed up and shipped off to the Aran Islands. Mark graciously invited us to crash in his cottage (and crash is a good term for it). I won’t lie, at night there were bodies everywhere (it’s not a large cottage). But it was a wonderful break. I needed to get out of Dublin, and the Islands are the perfect example of the beauty that drew me back to Ireland. We could not have asked for better weather either. I (again) left the Islands sunburned. I think it’s a curse or something, but a curse I can live with. I think the highlight of the long weekend was the bike ride we took around the Island (that manage to be 20 plus miles by the end) that included the round tower, Dun Aengus, and the beach. It was rough going at times, and I (shamefully) had to walk my bike parts of the way. But it was a glorious day. We grilled each night, went to the local pubs, and bought out the Island supply of Corona. Again, God bless Mark for letting all of stay at his place. I’m not sure I’d have the courage to do so.

I’m in the middle of a two-week rotation on General Surgery, which is a lot of fun. I love surgery (telling, I think). And have been in theatre a bit and doing a lot of patient work-ups. After this, I move on to two-weeks of Respiratory Medicine, a big OSCE (solo this time) that determines whether or not I can go on to the senior cycle of medicine in Sept. I haven’t managed to become stressed out about this one, I think I’ve used up all my stress for the year. But I’m on the wards in the hospital every day now, so I’m getting plenty of practice.

The day after I finish with the OSCE, I’m on a plane for NYC to attend my cousin’s wedding. I’m extremely excited about that. I’ll get to see some of my extended family that I haven’t seen in ages, and it’s a wedding! Happy Family Time.

My plans for the summer aren’t entirely exciting. I’m in MN for the majority of the summer studying like it’s my job, because well, it is my job. I’ll be sitting the Step 1 USMLE (medical boards) at the end of August (the 29th… at the moment). It’s an 8-hour test, and carries a good deal of weight when I apply to Residency programs in the States. So… I may be just a little stressed out about it. The last few weeks of my summer look to include an ND game (yay!) In July, I’m hoping to get up to Detroit to spend a few days with the lil’bro and to celebrate Emilie’s wedding with a second reception in her new husband’s neck of the woods. Since I wasn’t able to be at the wedding (fell right in the middle of exams, much like the 10-year), I’m so excited to be able to celebrate with them.

Other random stuff:
• Meg and Tom, my little though no longer little cousins, are in town next week! Fun!

• I may be breaking up my studies with running, perhaps to the tune of marathon training. I’m toying with the idea of running Dublin in the fall. But the idea of another marathon is a little daunting… But aren’t marathons always daunting?

• My parents will be closing on the new town house sometime in June or July! It means changing all of my permanent mailing information and everyone else changing the place they mail me at my parent’s house. Don’t worry, I’ll get that address out when I have it.

• I’ll be spending next year in my second term as the Sec/Treas of the Surgical Society at RCSI. I had promised myself I wouldn’t do it again, and I caved and agreed to run again. Oh well… c’est la vie. I do get to meet a good number of Consultant Surgeons throughout the year, and the committee this year looks to be solid. Fingers crossed, eh?

• Even though my season ended with two broken ribs this year (they’re all healed up now, I promise), I’m going to be playing basketball for UCD again next year. My coach (Sean) won his dream wedding, and we’re all so excited for him! Plus, I just can’t stay away from the courts.

That’s about all I’ve got for right now. It has been a long time since I’ve caught up with a good number of you, and I’m going to try to take time to call people over the summer when I’m back home and it’s financially feasible to do so. I miss you guys! There are times when I kick myself for going so far away for medical school. And there are frequent times when I long for a good chat with people who know me as something other than Liz the (sometimes crazy) north-american medical student. I’m looking forward to being home for so many reasons, but most of them involve being closer to people I love.

Peace,
~Liz

That Time

It's that time of year again... sadly. I'm going to drop off the face of the world for about 2 weeks so I can study. I hate it, but I have to do it. Stupid exams. Stupid internal motivation that makes me want to do really well. Stupid profession that puts lives in my hands... Yeah. Study time.

Things that Suck

For this next post, I'm going to have a running list of things that suck when you have broken ribs. (I realize that having broken ribs sucks a good deal on its own, but I'm going for the in addition to category here).

So...

Things that you never knew could be so painful:
* Sleeping
* Breathing
* Laughing
* Coughing
* Pooping
* Sitting up
* Pushing yourself up
* Shampooing your hair
* Trying to walk to the front of the bus when it stops suddenly
* Burping
* Closing your bra when you get dressed
* Hiccuping
* Singing

I'll keep adding as I discover new things.

xo
~LLL

PS: This is awesome. Go Rev Jenkins.

Vantage Point

So, the highlight of my week was seeing Vantage Point last night (my Sunday night movie). I have two comments about the viewing experience.
1 - I was struck by the number of people in the theater that seemed taken aback by the way the story was told. One such person (who may or may not have been a rude, teenage male sitting next to me) commented, "Why does it have to be noon again? Why can't it be one?"

Um... I thought it was clear from the previews that the story was going to be told in a series of flashbacks from different points of view. As a narrative tool, I thought it was done quite well, slowly adding new pieces every time, moving faster through the parts that were already clear and focusing on what was new. It really wasn't a surprise. And there wasn't too much repetition. It was far from boring, maybe frustrating to add to the suspense, but not boring. Boring is sitting in a micro lecture.

2 - The movie worked. I thought it was really well done. I liked all of the characters. I felt they tied up the loose ends that needed resolution but kept from resolving everything. Life doesn't always wrap up in a neat little bow, why should the movie. They never give full motivation for certain actions, and I left wondering why people did what they did. The movie was great.

BUT the last 2 minutes were the worst pile of crap I've ever seen. I mean, cut out the last two minutes and it would have been fantastic. I felt as though the writer was like, I really want a bit of dialog in there, and vomited out a script. The snickers in the theater were aimed at the ridiculously Amero-centric resolution, and the pure cheese on the screen that could only be made worse with a series of American flags flapping in a gentle breeze.

On the walk home though, I had a rather interesting conversation. And this is in no way meant to insult or offend anyone, I apologize if I do. I don't think there is anything I believe in strong enough to blow myself up for it. I actually really started thinking about it, and I can't really think of something that I could see myself strapping on a bomb and detonating myself for. Now, that's not to say I don't have convictions. I do. I remember that during Confirmation we were asked, "if it were illegal to be Catholic, would there be enough evidence to convict you?" I would be rotting in jail for my association with the church. But at the same time, I wouldn't blow myself up if the Pope told me to... Granted, that would be against Church Dogma (amongst other problems), but still...

So I pose this question:

Do you have convictions strong enough that you might end up a suicide bomber?

You don't have to answer me, but think about it... It's interesting.

Peace,
~LLL

In like a Lion

Sometimes there are these days that remind me to be human. It sounds weird, I know. But let's see if I can make sense of this. Sunday, I did a good deal of studying. I'm still behind from all the chaos I was working in the past few weeks, but we're starting a new module (Neuro/Musculoskeletal Pathology) and so far, I'm feeling like I'm in a zone. Granted, the 4 years at ND studying Psych from a physiological/cognitive standpoint should give me a leg up.

But before I got to studying, I walked into town, taking my time to arrive at the designated study cafe. I find it hard to take my time, to move through a city without appearing to have some place to be. It's obviously not healthy to have to rush everywhere, and yet I seem to find reason to do this ALL THE TIME! I won't go so far as to say I'm going to give up rushing for Lent, but let's just say I'm adding it to my to-do list. I was reasonably productive in spite of taking the half hour walk into town and the nice long chat with my mom in the middle of the study session.


I was hoping to get out to Zurich for the beginning of my March break, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen this time around. I was looking forward to rocking out with Drew for a bit, but now I'm looking to see if May might be a possibility. In the mean time, it's Edinburgh with my mom at the end of March. And that will be great.

Just a nod to the crazy march weather we've got out here in Dublin. On Monday, on my way home, I experienced about every form of precipitation. And by experienced, I mean I was hit on the head with rain, snow, sleet, freezing rain, hail, "wintry mix." It was only a 5 minute walk... bizarre!

Peace,
~Liz

Irony

Define 'Irony'... two homeless alcoholics sitting on the steps of the RCSI main building, drinking from bottles in paper bags at 8pm on a Sunday night. I stood at the LUAS stop waiting to go home and thought to myself, "Hey, I'm sure I'll be treating them soon."

The past two weeks have been bonkers. I've been running around doing just about anything other than what I feel a second-year medical student should be doing. I've had basketball games, helped the orchestration of an intercollegiate case competition, I've conducted photo shoots, I've pieced together promo reels and prize reels, run audio and video for events, and sat on a counter and sold lollipops. I was at a mall yesterday, sitting in a starbucks, talking about my former life as a teacher and my head nearly exploded. It was a "hey, wait, where am I?" moment.

Anyway, the four videos I put together are available on youtube. I'll post the promo reel at the end of this post, and the other 3 can be found through my youtube profile. I'm taking Saturday to decompress, clean my room, do laundry, put together a grocery list, send out long overdue emails, sign up for the USMLE, upload photos to facebook, organise my notes, and generally get my life in order.

Tomorrow begins the massive study necessary for me to actually pass the quiz coming up on Wednesday. I actually breathed a sigh of relief when I put together my calendar for next week. I have a game on Monday, mass on Tuesday, and Ballad Sessions on Friday... that's nothing. It's like a big, wide open week of free time. Then I wonder how the hell I get myself into so much stuff. Study, study, study! AHHH! Ok, I'm going to bake some cookies, because that seems like the best thing to do right now.

Peace,
~LLL

SHAG Week Dating Game - Promo Reel

Galwegians!

It was my roommate's birthday on Monday, so I took her to Galway as a mini-celebration. I didn't tell her where we were going until the night before we left (and then it was only because the random and crazy snowfall across Ireland sortof changed the packing list and I didn't want her to end up cold).

It was a fun weekend. We got in Friday and dropped our stuff at the hostel (Kinlay House Hostel... I totally recommend it if you're looking for a nice place to stay and can't afford a hotel) and headed out for food. We ate a crap load at Fat Freddy's, mostly because we hadn't eaten all day then went to find some drinks. Martine's is a lovely cafe/wine bar that had the feel of the local, classy watering hole. The woman serving wine seemed to know every person (save the two of us) that walked in the door.

We bounced from there to a trad session at Taaffe's that was quite the fun time. I'm not going to lie, I managed to get a little tipsy while we waited for the two boys to arrive, and we kept busy buy making bets on who would get there first and what you call someone from Galway. We had a nice list going before Mark settled it for us... Turns out, someone from Galway is a Galwegian. Who knew? After Taaffe's (which I also recommend for a weekend visit) we hit up Tigh Neachtain's, then called it a night.

On Saturday, we braved the weather and took a tour of the Burren, stopping in Doolin for lunch (of course) and the main point of which was to see the Cliffs of Moher. Thankfully, the weather held long enough for us to bum around in the ridiculous wind and get a few silly photos before a downpour sent us into the Hobbits-meet-Teletubbies burrow of a tourist centre for cocoa. We moved on to the Ailwee caves for a little venture underground. Overall, it was a good tour, the weather didn't damper our spirits, but it did dampen my clothes.

We went to the Skeff for dinner and met out for drinks again at Tigh Neachtain's, but perhaps a little too much fresh air during the day had tired us out a bit and we called it an early night. Sunday was coffee and a newspaper and then some chill wandering around the city before catching the train back to Dublin (it was Superbowl Sunday and I did want to watch the game). And so I don't neglect it, my roomie saw a lot of baby sheep (or lambs for those who want to be technical).

I have to say I was a little bummed with the result of the Superbowl, but Tom Brady is still gorgeous and brilliant, and I'd totally have his babies :) The game ran from 11pm-3:15am here and I stayed up to watch all of it. It was a rough way to start lectures off on less than 3 hours sleep, and perhaps ill-advised to go to basketball practice that night, but hey, I'm still kicking.

Here's to another week of lectures: Diabetes, Hyperthyroidism, and DKA.

Sláinte agus táinte.
~LLL

CTD

First and foremost, my apologies for the extended absence. Things like exams, Christmas, travel, stomach flu, and a slow attachment have prevented my updates... though, I'd really like to blame it on the Writer's Strike. Unfortunately, all the bad writing is mine and mine alone, can't pin this crap on anyone else.

So, I'm back on attachment in the hospitals, and I've had an interesting go of it. First, it sucks being sick. Everyone knows that it sucks to be sick, but let me tell you that it sucks to be trying to make other people healthy when you yourself are unwell. Boo on that. It's even more difficult when you're a student. If you're employed and sick, you take a sick day, you're docked pay, and such is life. If you're a student, you take a sick day, miss lectures, fall behind your learning, get chewed out by your instructors, miss more lectures to make a doctor's appointment, argue with people who don't realise you're a soon-to-be-doctor and think you're just a hypochondriac, struggle to stop by the store to get some crackers and soda before you drop or start vomiting again. Thank God for my roommate.

That, perhaps, was the one saving grace. You can't be on the wards in a hospital if you're vomiting. Roto-viruses are highly contagious, and you don't want an entire ward of patients throwing up... that's just wrong. So, now recovered from the flu and able to see patients, I'm finding myself on a Care for the Elderly attachment (aka Geriatrics). Now, it's very laid back, the consultants are brilliant and helpful, the Regs and SHO are lovely and take time to teach and explain, and the intern is so chill it's contagious. But, there isn't much for me to do. This is the disappointing thing with health care. Many of the patients under our supervision (and I purposely say supervision not care) are simply awaiting placement in Long Term Care or Nursing Home. This means that there isn't much we need do for them. There are no bloods to be taken, no X-rays, no exams, no treatment other than maintaining medication. And for a student looking to learn and understand, this is frustrating.

I titled this post "CTD" for a reason. It's a reference to former, crass abbreviations used in the medical community for things that shouldn't be said out loud. CTD stands for Circling The Drain. It's up there with FLK (funny looking kid) and DP (difficult patient) as things that are no longer written in charts, but occasionally are spoken in an exchange between doctors. CTD is one of the the things that I feel epitomizes what I'm taking away from this rotation. End of life (EoL) issues are ever present. They are not easily or happily dealt with, but they must be dealt with. The respect and compassion I've seen from the team I'm working with has made a large impression on me. You cannot teach a medical student how to handle EoL issues, just as you cannot teach a person how to come to terms with their own mortality. But modeling appropriate behaviour and practical thinking can be done. I've now seen it.

I may not want to go into Geriatric work after this attachment, but I can say I've learned from it. I've learned a lot. Most of it has been comforting.

Pax,
~LLL