Welcoming 2011 with More Music

So, as my tradition stands, I've put together a playlist for the new year.

2011 is a prime year... I've been to a few concerts this year, so there's dedications for those. Most of these are things on heavy rotation, new and fantastic, or things that I have a special tie to. So without further ado, here's Music for the New Year (2011 edition):

1. Trust Me I'm a Doctor - The Blizzards
   [Dedicated to the RCSI class of 2010 - welcome to being real doctors... Scary.]
   
   
2. Wish List - Neon Trees
   [This is the 2nd song from Neon Trees that I'd heard. It's now on my Christmas playlists. I like these guys, they've got some spunk, and it's a different sound than what I've heard recently. Plus... I have a bit of a wish list like them.]
   
   
3. Firework - Katy Perry
   [Ok, Katy's songs get overplayed every time... I think the second I put this on the list, I'm going to be sick of hearing it. But I like it. I admit it. I like it. At the moment, it's being used to promote Love & Other Drugs. Heart.]
   
   
4. Future Kings - Miracle Bell
   [Heard these guys as they opened for the Coronas. They're fun! Their 2nd on vocals/misc percussion/guitar looks like "Tighten" from Megamind or Jonah Hill... Hilarious. But they've got a great sound. I hope they go far.]
   
   
5. Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons
   [I can't believe I've only had this album since Feb. I love it. Mumford has a great crescendo in just about every song. But this one is my favourite... And it's #1 on my top played list for iTunes right now.]
   
   
6. Radioactive - Kings of Leon
   [I have to give a nod to Kings for their new album. But... There's nothing like hearing a clip of a song, live, when you're in another country, feeling miserable, and stuck in a city that you don't belong in. This song will always make me smile now.]
   
   
7. Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap
   [After first hearing this in 500 Days of Summer... It is EVERYWHERE. Thank you O2 for overplaying something in every commercial you've ever made... But I still like the song.]
   
   
8. Christmas Lights - Coldplay
   [New this holiday season... And chill... And a bit sad... And brilliant piano music. On heavy rotation for the Season, and probably will keep on into the new year.]
   
   
9. Stuff We Did - Michael Giacchinos
   [If you don't know this song, it's considered the "theme" from the movie Up. It makes me tear up. It's so gentle, and the way it was used in the movie was brilliant. It's also one of my new piano songs.]
   
   
10. All We Are - Matt Nathanson
    [Peaceful with where things are in life... I think this guy is going to be big. He's a bit in the mold of Mayer and Morrison, but he has much more content lyrics. I really like this one. Chills me out.]
    
    
11. For the First Time - The Script
    [Love the new album... I'm considering getting tickets to see them in the Aviva this spring... I'm just not sure I can tolerate the teenagers I'd have to fight off. But I dig this song. Positive in the economic time.]
    
    
12. Curl Up and Die - Relient K
    [Ok, it's been a while since I've given Relient K a listen. This came up on my genius a month ago, and I really like it. It has a different guitar feeling than most of their stuff (and I bit less Jesus than some of their songs). But it's a b-side, so that's probably why. It's not as depressing as it would sound from the title.]
    
    
13. Black Hole Sun (live acoustic) - Chris Cornell
    [I remember first hearing this in Humarock when I was in middle school... Crazy music video. But this is a nod to Chris, and the fact that they're getting back together and making some new music.]
    
    
14. Yellow Ledbetter - Pearl Jam
    [Saw them in concert! Great concert! (totally suited for the O2) Now, this was not played, but it needs to be out there. Plus, I got this on cd for Christmas. <3]
    
    
15. Second Chance - Shinedown
    [I don't know of another song by this group, and I don't know who to compare them to, but I like this. Heard it once, and was sold. Just a bit of growing-pains, bit of positive spin on accomplishments.]
    
    
16. You've Got the Love - Florence and the Machine
    [This has been a great year for this band. I think this is my favourite of their songs, ignoring that it was used a bit too often in Grey's Anatomy commercials.]
    
    
17. All the Right Moves - One Republic
    [There is something great about this song. I don't know if some of it isn't that I found out how they got the fantastic drum sounds in it... it involved an old house, a spiral staircase, multiple floors of percussion, and a moving mic... Cool.]
    
    
18. Come On Get Higher - Matt Nathanson
    [And here he is again. This is such a great song. Light and happy, hopeful, chill... Something I'd love to have a boyfriend sing to me one day.]
    
    
19. Halfway Gone - Lifehouse
    [They're coming to Dublin! I'm super excited for this concert. I've never seen them live, and I've been listening to them since Hanging By a Moment came out my freshman year of college. The new album is great. A bit more rock than they have been recently. Good job!]
    
    
20. Far from Here - The Coronas
    [One of the few songs that went off before the power failure at the concert in Dec. Go Coronas! I dig the new album, and they're very fun in concert, even when things aren't going to plan.]
    
    
21. Raise Your Glass - Pink
    [A nod to all my nitty, gritty, dirty, little freaks. You know who you are. It's a fun song and a great wrap for a cd.]

... Roll on 2011. I'm looking forward to more great music!

On All Things Christmas

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!

Happy happy Christmas to everyone! How is everyone spending this day? I have to admit, I was dreading today. The idea of being away from home on Christmas was bad enough, but the idea of being alone on Christmas had me fairly worked up. You know what? Today is great.

First of all, my family celebrated Christmas last week. We were all together, we had a full Christmas day, dinner, presents, party, games... Yes, mom, we played a ton of games just like you wanted. For some reason, the day didn't seem as hectic as it usually does. It was relaxed, peaceful, it was really nice. And when we needed something from the store, we could actually go get it (since it was the 18th, not the 25th). And let's be honest, there was a butt-load of snow on the ground when I got home. I had wanted to make a snowman, but there was no space! We had roughly 5 1/2 ft, and I couldn't use the very little cleared sidewalk to build one. I did find time to play with the cat... and annoy her by taking a picture :) We did manage a full family picture.



Before I left home, I had the chance to meet a few friends for food or coffee or a chat or really just about anything. I also got to see my brother's new house (his stocking is pictured at the right)... and their cat, who is now bigger than Zade... crazy! I think the static electricity from the carpets is making Stella grow fast.

I had a rough trip back to Ireland. Where the weather was the issue leaving, getting back was a bout of food poisoning (I think) that had the long flight from Atlanta to Dublin seeming much much longer... and with bouts of vomiting. To add to the misery, every 5th seat or so was a child under the age of 2... crying. But I was back to work on Tuesday, on call Wednesday, and while the week leading up to Christmas is normally mad busy, hectic, this week was calm. I took Thursday night to visit one of my best friends (out in the TUNDRA that is the midlands at the moment... Yes, the midlands are freezing. Pretty, but freezing) and had a wonderful night in. And a great long sleep into Christmas Eve.

So what am I doing today? On my own in Dublin? Actually, I'm not on my own. My neighbour wound up stranded, so we're having a lovely day in. Slept in late, went to mass, had brunch, am trying to stay warm (yay for the penguin slippers!), and am watching a bunch of silly movies. Number one on the list was... Home Alone! That's right, John Hughes defined my childhood, and I decided that it was an appropriate Christmas day movie. There are a few things I've to do tomorrow, but there's no rush.

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas. I'll be back before the new year.

Not all who wander...

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be the blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
~ J. R. R. Tolkien

I have to say that I didn't start off Friday morning with the greatest of moods. But having to go to work early for a meeting will rarely put you in a happy frame of mind. But after the meeting, the MDM, chats with my besties, 3-monthly intern assessment meeting, and dispersion of cookies, I was heading outta hospital for a week of holidays. Ah freedom! Freedom, by the way, tastes shockingly like more Christmas cookies. I really ought to apologise to my roomie (and her waistline) for the continuous onslaught of holiday foods... But they taste SO good!

I spent the better part of the afternoon baking, cleaning, doing laundry, packing... Maybe now is a good time to shamefully admit that I forgot to pack any socks; Target here I come. Then I sat with my finger poised over the start button of the microwave as my concert-companion was stuck in the horrendous Dublin traffic. But he got in with plenty of time to spare, and plenty of time to eat (I really need to keep on experimenting with my cooking, it's working out pretty well, I think).

Now, if it's possible for all my bad luck for the year to be compressed into 48 hours, I think it was. In a day or two, I'll be laughing about it, but I'm not quite there yet. So we headed out for the Coronas concert at the Olympia. I have to say, the two openers were really good. If you like the slightly off beat bands, check out Miracle Bell (they've a free single at the moment). I was pleased enough with the two openers that I didn't freak out completely at what followed... The Coronas came out and started their set. Perhaps 5 songs in, the power failed. The whole theater lost power. Not just the Olympia, but the 2 block radius surrounding on Dame Street was without power. They gave it about 10 minutes... no power. So the lads came out with acoustic guitars, a tambourine, 3 violins, and a cello and performed another 3 songs by flashlight. It must have been hell on their voices to be heard without so much as an amp.

With still now power, management kindly told us that they would be rescheduling the concert or we could return our tickets to point of sale for a refund. Bummer. Concert was promptly rescheduled for Tuesday night, when I'd be out of the country... More Bummer. And let's be honest, what are the chances that I could make it to a TicketMaster box office before the concert to try to get my money back? (Please let us remember that I had an early flight the next morning). Mega Bummer. I think I would have been really ticked off had my partner in crime not spent the majority of the walk home singing :) Totally kept a smile on my face. It was actually a ridiculous night. But a good one. And one I won't soon forget. Plus, now Sinead can go see the Coronas play too!

Back to the flat, tidied up, went to bed for an early trans-atlantic flight... Woke up, went to shower, and subjected myself to about 30 seconds of ice-cold water before giving up on there being any hot water. PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Dear people of Dublin - 1) running your taps is not going to keep the water mains from freezing. 2) running your taps involves letting the faucet drip about once every minute, you only need one tap in the whole house to do this... would you please, for the love, stop running your faucets like river?! We are back in drought conditions... And I get up for work around 5am. This whole no-hot-water before 7am is not going to fly.

This is about where things turned... the cold non-shower. Foreshadowing the cold to follow. Flew from Dublin to Atlanta, which is an extremely long flight for those of you who've never taken it. Landed in Atlanta, checked the screens, ATL-MSP on time. Sweet. Walked over to my gate. Screen says "Dear Liz, sorry, but you're screwed." In other words, no delay, just straight up canceled. Boo. I ring Delta. Never fear, you've been re-booked for tomorrow from ATL to Dayton to MSP. o_O Dayton? Really? Isn't there a massive storm passing through the midwest? And wouldn't it be prudent not to be STUCK IN DAYTON TOMORROW?! Ah, yes, good point, we've re-booked you on a flight to Memphis that leaves in an hour, and then you go from Memphis to MSP tonight at 7pm.

Small flight to Memphis later and the MSP airport is closed. First time in 19 years... 17 inches fell with 30+ mph winds, and they could only maintain one runway. Disaster. Also, please feel free to check out the video of the Metrodome caving in!



Insane! So Delta will get me a bit of a discount at a dodgy Memphis motel just around the corner from the airport. Great. That's what I've always wanted to do. Sandwiched between a vacant lot, a semi-tractor-trailer loading warehouse, a flight path overhead, and with a liquor store across the street, I felt warm and fuzzy all over. On the bright side, I can now cross "Stay in a shady Graceland motel" off the bucket list. Ok, it's not on my bucket list, but I may just add it in so I get the satisfaction of crossing it off. Boom.

Jet-lag had me awake around 2am, so I made my way back to the airport at 5. I was hoping to make it on the 6am straight to MSP, but no such luck. Instead, at 9:35am I took a school bus with wings to Tulsa, OK. Then 20 minutes later was headed Tulsa to MN.

I think we landed in another zipcode, because it was a 15 minute taxi followed by a 15 minute wait for the jetbridge before we could get off the plane. And just a small heads up to those of you without the diesel blood of those raised in a town that has proper cold winters: gate checking a bag means you wait IN THE JET BRIDGE for the bag to come up. If you've packed your coat, it's going to be cold. Suck it up or huddle together for warmth, but if you think the jet bridge is cold, wait till you get outside!

Nearly home, I was less than surprised to find that my bag had not made the various transfers with me. Great. Even though I'd forgotten my socks, now I had no clothes. *sigh* Thankfully, I keep a stash of emergency clothes at home. They don't really fit me any more, but in a bind, they'll do! So my mom and I went off to see the new Narnia movie in 3D before dinner.

Now I'm home. There's about 5 ft of snow on the ground. It's -10* (-25 with windchill)... and that's in Fahrenheit. Brr! And I'm happy. There will be celebration of my dad's birthday (he's an old dude now!), there will be a ton of baking, there will be family, and friends, and an early Christmas... and there will be a lot of sleeping and sitting by the fire doing very little. I'm excited. I'm really really excited.

So I'm done wandering for the moment. Now I'm going to hunker down and enjoy the weather. And I'm going to cross my fingers that there's not enough snow in Dublin to delay my return. Because, and I mean this with the utmost respect. I HATE the Atlanta airport.

More pictures to follow!

Doctor, heal thyself...

"Few doctors will admit this, certainly not young ones, but subconsciously, in entering the profession, we must believe that ministering to others will heal our woundedness. And it can. But it can also deepen the wound."
~ Cutting for Stone

I want to talk about this quote... And I will. But first I need to talk about where I've been for the past few weeks. Dublin is under a gloomy cloud right now. The bitterness of the weather is adding salt to the wounds left by the current economic climate (and an attempt to add salt to the streets, which is something they haven't quite figured out yet). We are in for a long, cold, dark, bleak winter here. And only time will tell how damaged Ireland will be in the long run. In the short-term, the people in charge have been making extremely short-sighted decisions that are going to prolong the pain. For example, the pay cuts to junior doctors, the current work environment of the hospitals are leading to (what at the moment sounds like half, but will most likely end up being) one third of my intern class leaving Ireland for greener pastures. Some will go to the UK, some to Oz and New Zealand, the North Americans are heading home... The best and brightest doctors, educated in Ireland, started training in Ireland, are going to leave. The fall out in the future health care received by ALL of this country will last years if not decades.

On the tail end of Thanksgiving, a bittersweet holiday for an ex-pat, the cold and snow only reminds me of a weak approximation of home. And the inability of people to cope with the snow and ice (the inability of the government to prepare for it again) has brought on American temper-tantrums as I've been rear-ended, knocked down on the sidewalks, hit with ice-balls, and invariably delayed at everything I've tried to do. I miss my snowboots. I miss my SUV. I miss shovels that work, ice scrapers for cars, rock salt at the grocery stores, snow plows that work, central heating, Caribou coffee... I've compensated for this feeling by cleaning and baking on alternate days. My fridge is full of food to re-heat, and my cupboards are full of cookies. And none of this can soothe the impending loneliness of being alone for Christmas. Not just away from home, but alone...

So where have I been? Have a cookie.

Now, in the middle of all of this disaster, I encountered an extremely painful moment at the hospital. Scrubbed in theatre, my hands in a patient's abdomen, their heart beating just under my fingertips as I retract, I hear the phrase, "They're dead."

Clinically speaking, logically speaking, that patient was going to die. There was nothing within our power to fix the damage we were looking at. But this terrified and aggressively angry voice inside of me wanted to scream. "THEY'RE NOT DEAD! THE HEART BEATING IN MY HAND!!" And in fairness to that voice, we closed up and the patient survived another 18 hours before passing away. With the exception of that phrase, the situation was treated with the utmost respect.

I still haven't sorted my feelings about that day. It's painful and I'm angry about it. I think I'm most upset at the callousness of that moment. There are decent ways to express and rude ways state the condition of a patient. Maybe it was rude. Maybe it was cold. It was certainly blunt and upsetting. And at the end of the day, there are a good number of my colleagues that communicate in a similar fashion. It's something I've been exposed to over and over again. And you know what... I don't think I ever want to be ok with it. It's the ongoing divide between growing a tough skin, because medicine is brutal, and maintaining humanity and dignity in spite of the things you see. So... Am I healing? Or am I tearing open old scars?