Saturday, January 11, 2014

New Year's Reflection - ACE

Some of you may know that I go to a monthly mass + dinner with friends who have graduated from, or support, or participate in the ACE group here in Dublin. One of the things we do during the evening is have a post-communion reflection and questions for discussion after dinner. This has been a part of the evenings since we started up in Dublin, and one that I love. I've given the reflections in the past (once at Christmas, once in November), but it's been probably 2 years. I gave the reflection last night and it went really well. So, as I have done in the past, I've posted it here.

Enjoy :)


It’s been a while since I’ve given a reflection here. And if you’ll forgive me, indulge me a little, condone the excess of a captive audience without the pressures of my normal work environment bearing down, and excuse the quotes peppered throughout, as there are people so much more eloquent than I am. So herein lie words of wisdom that I need to give myself. A diatribe to me. Things I need to hear, and perhaps, will bring some thought to you as well.

Let me begin by wishing everyone a very happy new year. Welcome to 2014. Welcome back. Welcome forward. Welcome new and old. And we can start with the traditional question: what are your new year’s resolutions? Diligently, every year, I sit down and write a letter to myself on new years day. I read the letter from the previous year. I take stock. I make my resolutions, and, regrettably, tend to break them by February. I was late this year. I had quite a bit of jetlag on the 1st and one of the worst travel adventures in the eight year I’ve been commuting transatlantically. But that is a story for another day. Funny thing, the new year though… We get this feeling of opportunity, a clean slate, a fresh start, a ground swell of new pressures, of growth, of personal commitments, and of change.

Ah. Change.

Those of you who know me well, would know that I am a creature of habit. I’m good at organizing. I’m fantastic at planning. I can table a day down to the minute so every second is productive. And when on a routine, I am most efficient, most effective, and possibly happiest. So maybe then, it will come as no surprise that I do not like change. I suspect I’m not alone. Many people dread it. Change is intimidating, daunting, frightening, inevitable… Necessary. “All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” (Anatole France).

I am certainly not new to change. I am an ex-pat, living in my third country of residence, in my sixth city, on my second career, and in my eleventh “job” since graduation from medical school. Like death and taxes, it follows everywhere. Some change has always been regrettable: the death someone we love, irreparable transitions in relationships, forced job change, moving house, moving country, immigration, catastrophe… Change as loss. Wherein we feel the victim, through injury or sacrifice, change is thrust upon us by outside force. I’ve somehow always been better at facing this type of change. Bracing against the elements, following the protocol, an algorithm of survival to come out, weather weary, perhaps only slightly worse for the wear on the other side. Easy.

There are the changes that are festive though. A new life, a new relationship, an unexpected surprise. Change as gain. Change as a present that gifts our lives with something new. Deserving or not, we welcome, always, the pleasant changes that bring us joy. How could we not? I have the most beautiful new niece. Through nothing of my work or device, the most blessed change. Lucy is a tiny bundle of joy that changes everyone who meets her. I met her at 3 days old. I’ve already watched my brother become a father with his first son, but I’ve seen another change now. One that’s hard to describe, but beautiful. And so happy.

And then there are the changes that come from plans. The ones we anticipate, perhaps with anxiety, often of our own making. It’s slightly more challenging to run the course when we’ve set out the plans ahead of ourselves rather than have them thrust upon us. These changes are the ones I resist. The ones I dread. The ones I dig in my heels and stubbornly refuse to acknowledge until there is no other choice. If you’ll forgive my language, the change that comes as a kick up the arse that I need to move on, to move forward, to do what is necessary, because I’ve become stagnant, because I have forgotten what I can do, what is possible, what I should do, what I’m called to do. And I hate it, because I should know better. I should have more faith in my ability to be changed and bring change. “Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For indeed, that’s all who ever had.” (Margaret Mead)

So then, in the almost unnatural calm that follows the Christmas season. That follows the waiting and anticipation, the chaos of tasks of joy that flow into the dead of winter, we find our ebb. Our sparkling, clean new year. Our moment of pause before we crash forth into January, into work, and weather. And in this moment we make resolutions. Resolutions to do differently, to do more, to new habits, to breaking poor routines, to fix, to mend, to repair, to arrange, to secure, to better, to change. And perhaps, this is where my failings lie. These things, these resolutions are plans. Plans of change, perhaps promises of change. And we all know how great I am at planning and terrible at change. The juxtaposition of my strength and weakness side-by-side. Staring me down.

So I’m going to take a risk here and throw out my resolutions. Forget the forward planning and do. Be bold. Be tenacious. Don’t make resolutions, make revolutions. Rebel against the things that I would fear and dive in.  Jump first, “and build your wings on the way down.” (Ray Bradbury). Do not wait to be changed. Be change and be changed now. Unashamedly, shed that which we wish to change, leave it behind, and by the grace be now what we know we can be.

“It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.” (C.S. Lewis)

So my question is this: what are our plans for 2014, little eggs? What are our New Year’s Revolutions?

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