First of all, many thanks to Em, who got back to her blog, which made me think, darn... I need to do that too. So now I'm back. Brief update, 3months on Neurosurgery did not kill me outright. I'm now on GenSurg with Prof. This is looking far more reasonable so keep your fingers crossed.
I'm in the middle of writing the reflection for ACE Fellowship November. If you remember, I did the Dec/Christmas reflection last year. I feel like I have a lot to live up to, but I'm glad I don't have Dec again... That'd be even more difficult. So before I buckle down and really hash this out, does anyone have any pressing thoughts? We're looking at Nov as All Saints/All Souls day, the beginning of Autumn changing to Winter. Remembering those that have died... Let me know what you think. When all is said and done, I'll post it here too.
As promised, I'm updating the 25 Random things... So, about 2 years later:
25 random things:1. I'm much more tell than show, much more truth than dare. But I do walk the walk.
I'd guess that as long as I'm working on surgery, I'm going to be much more show than tell. It's a trick of the job. Always more truth than dare, and I walk that walk at a breakneck pace.2. I'm a rebel... I break rules left and right. Actually no, I don't. I'm a by the book kind of girl, most of the time. But I know how to bend the rules and when to break them outright.
I do play by the rules. It annoys me when others don't and they get away with it. But I've learned when to ask permission and when to just do the right thing and ask forgiveness later.3. I'm trying to travel around Europe as much as possible before I have to really buckle down and work. To some, this will be when I graduate med school. To others, this is when GP ends and I'm into the Paeds-Obgyn back to back slap followed by exams. It's debatable. But I just got back from Prague and have a flight booked for Berlin.
Prague, Berlin, London, Paris, Rome... I've hit up a few places, and I'm certainly not done. I'm a bit of a home body, so I've been traveling around Ireland a lot. Plus, the back and forth between the States and Ireland eats up a good chunk of my vacation time. Not arguing though. I'm traveling about once a month.4. I think I've become both more laid back in life and more uptight since high school... Which is weird.
I'm more laid back in life for sure, I'm a little stressed from time to time, but I think it's warranted given my line of work. I'm learning to let things go... very slowly, little by little, I'm learning.5. Teachers are amazing. I was one, I may go back to that eventually. But I decided that becoming a doctor was easier than being an educator. That's crazy.
Teachers are amazing. They come in all shapes and sizes. I owe a giant thank you to each one I've had. I'm debating that last statement about which is easier... I don't think it's a fair comparison. Teachers get far less respect than doctors, but their job is SO important.6. Speaking of crazy, I am. Admittedly. Which I'm totally ok with. I like being a little out there. I'm not bat shit crazy, but I have my moments of insanity and I think they're unique and special.
10 pounds of crazy in a 5 pound bag. I appreciate each of my friends that somehow love me for my crazy, and know how to bring me back to sane when it's necessary.7. I keep a blog. Ostensibly, this is to make it easier to keep my friends around the world up-to-date on my random life happenings. Really, it's because I'm so used to keeping a journal and I like to think I'm important enough to read about.
Yeah... It's just so all my stalkers can keep track of me. That and I can't stand twitter.8. I used to think dancing in the rain and jumping in puddles were great ideas. Then I moved to Ireland. I will still play in summer storms back in MN, but the rain here is cold and infinite and the puddles are not good for my work clothes. I think I'm a grown up. When did that happen?
Somewhere between being handed a diploma for med school and having to pronounce a patient, I became an adult. That doesn't mean I have to act like one all the time... And my non-med friends bear the brunt of that. Sorry guys, but if I'm dealing with life and death at work, I need to go see Easy A on the weekends.9. Thanks to technology, I watch a ridiculous amount of American TV here in Ireland. I'm up to date on House, Chuck, Dexter, HIMYM, Bones, DSM, Burn Notice, and NCIS (a guilty pleasure).
I don't even need to sling it anymore, they've all come to Ireland on sky. Can't say I'm 100% up to date, but I do watch. Plus... ANTM, my new guilty pleasure. It's kinda fun to come home after a long and challenging day to see 20 year old girls cry when they can't memorize a line... Keeps things in perspective.10. I love to read. In spite of the "in your leisure time" reading I have to do to stay on top of my studies, I still love a good book... or a cheap quick fun POS airport novel. Recently, I've read "25 in Mississippi" by (my friend) William Priestley, "Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex" and "Twilight" (sadly, yes... I read Twilight)
I wish I had more time to read, but I find myself quite tired... I've added "Eat, Pray, Love" to the list (read that one WAY ahead of the whole movie thing), "Eats, Shoots and Leaves," and "Sway: The irresistible pull of irrational thinking." I'm working on 2 books at once right now "Cutting for Stone" and "Guns, Germs, and Steel." Both are brilliant.11. I've finished 2 marathons and have the sick desire to run another one... or try my hand at triathlons.
Well... no dice here. Ran the Flora 10k after the Dublin marathon and that was just about the end of running all together for me. My right knee just about threw in the towel and after 8 weeks of physio, I decided to switch gears. I transitioned into yoga (thank you CPY - you are an amazing group of people/studios) and after a not so subtle challenge from a friend (*cough* Des *cough*) I've picked up my tennis racket again... 10 years out of the sport and it really is like riding a bike. So between running around the hospital all day, and twice weekly tennis matches, I feel that I'm keeping fit enough. 12. People absolutely fascinate me. And sometimes I confuse fascination with attraction. I'm working on that one.
Still working on it. Maybe it's because I'm so complicated (half truth) that I like to think everyone else is. Maybe it's because I spent my first undergrad as a psych major. People are amazing, and interesting, and yes, fascinating.13. I have a framed comic on my wall that looks like a poster to promote reading, but if you look closely, the person is reading porn... I think it's hilarious.
I know it's hilarious.14. I've tried my hand at a lot of things, drawing and painting, writing, teaching, dancing, psychology, philosophy, theology, video editing. And there's proof of all of these endeavors. I'm good at a lot of things. I haven't decided what I'm great at yet.
Still pending... But I think I'm doing pretty good at doctoring right now.15. I am a bleeding heart. This makes me want to take in strays, heal the wounded, and date the wrong people. It's led to me to trust the wrong people, do the wrong thing when I'm trying to do right, and more than once, I've been badly hurt. So... My heart is a little battered and bruised, and yes, still bleeding. But it's still in one piece.
I'm not sure I'm still bleeding, but I carry my scars on the inside rather than the outside. I'm not as tough as I seem... It's mostly bravado. But what isn't bravado is survival.16. Becoming a doctor changes how you see the world, how you see people, how you see death. It has to. If you're afraid of death, you're going to fall apart as a doctor. I'm slowly learning that it's ok to change the way you see things as long as you don't let it harden your heart.
Still battling with this. I work with death. It hangs over all the decisions we make in hospital. I've found a way to accept this without agreeing that it should be easy. I care about my patients. But nothing in work can prepare you for dealing with it personally. It is not the same. Never let anyone tell you that.17. I've lived in quite a few random places: Edina, MN; Toronto, Canada; South Bend, IN; Mission, Tx; Charlotte, NC; Dublin, Ireland. And I travel a lot. I call both MN and Dublin "home" and that's confusing sometimes. But I think that "home" really is all about the people. Because you can move house a lot. Home is something you share with others.
Ok, Dublin is home. Where my family is, home too. I often say I'm going home when I fly to Dublin. I say I'm going home to visit my parents when I'm flying State-side. But I'll be honest, I've put down roots here in Ireland...18. My older brother is getting married. This means 3 big things: 1 - Dan is a grown up... Weird. 2 - I'm going to have a sister! Yay! 3 - If the whole marriage pressure thing gets put on me, I'm throwing the grandkids pressure on Dan.
My older brother IS married! And they are happy and wonderful. Kirsten is an awesome sister (that's right lady, you are). But the grandkids pressure... yeah, that's there... Dan has a lovely job, they're getting a house, they have a kitten. Careful, Dan. You're running out of excuses :)19. I miss having pets. I miss Abbey and Zadie. I thought about getting a dog, but I don't have the time for one right now, and it wouldn't be fair to the dog. I thought about getting a cat, but I'm sortof allergic to them, and my roommates don't want one. I thought about getting a goldfish, but then I realised that it'd just be a disappointment that I can't pet it and it can't learn tricks. Maybe I need a boyfriend.
No resolution here. I don't have time for a pet because of my work schedule. I'd need something a bit more independent than a cat (if that's possible). I suppose the right boyfriend would suffice, but I think my standards are a bit high.20. I am both ridiculously organized AND hilariously messy. It frequently looks as though a small tornado went through my room, or that my closet vomited on the floor. But I know where everything is, I clean my bathroom to a shine once a week, and I have a schedule and plan for just about everything. I have to in order to keep up with my life.
Uh... some habits are permanent.21. I love music. I sing a lot... just rarely in public. Though I'll sing with the choirs. I sing in church (even if Brent laughs at me). I sing in the shower (sorry roomies). And there's always music playing in my head. I have a soundtrack for my life. Just ask, I'll tell you what's playing.
I've returned to playing piano as well... Music is everywhere :)22. I'm Catholic. I go to church. I pray. Sometimes people ask me how I can be a doctor and still go to church. I couldn't be a doctor without my faith.
Still true.23. The question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" scares the piss out of me.
Still does... I'm a grown up???! 24. Right now, my favorite insult is to call someone a "knob." I think it's going to become a permanent thing in my vocabulary.
Ok, knob didn't stick. I found too many other amusing ones (I blame Enda... He tends to be expressly creative with his insults)25. I don't like bullshit. I'm really good at "playing the game" and "being a good listener" But after a while, I like to call a spade a spade. I don't like playing games with people (and girls play SO many games... which is stupid). I can be blunt sometimes. This has worked, and on occasion this has failed miserably. Maybe it goes back to that trusting the wrong people thing. It's all about pots and kettles.
Still true. I hate politics as well. Just another game. A guise for getting something from someone else that they don't want to give, and finding a way for it to be "right"... That's right BMont, I'm talking to you.
I'd put it off before, so just a few comments about my little trip State-side.
I was there with my parents until Thursday. The daily schedule was pretty much locked in. Up around 6am (thank you jet lag) for coffee, reading the newspaper, and watching the sunrise over the atlantic with my dad. We had fantastic weather the whole time, and I didn't miss a single sunrise due to weather.
al nonsense until lunch. We'd either make lunch, or go out for lunch, or eat left-overs for lunch. In the afternoon, my mom and took walks up and down the beach. Or we would visit friends, or go to a movie, or meet the MacArthur's new twin grandkids (sooo cute), or get ready to have friends over for dinner/go out to dinner. And the sunsets out the 
back of the cottage and over the river were also wonderful to watch. It was a great time. Very very relaxing, and necessary. I needed a proper break. There were a few necessities to accomplish while there as well. I got the bridesmaid dress taken in, I got my hair cut, I slept a lot, I rented a car...
Friday evening was the rehearsal and grooms dinner. Saturday the wedding. Now, I had pictures of the girls getting ready, and some of the leaves changing... but I stupidly broke the SD card out of my phone, so I've only one picture from the wedding (I backed everything up just before driving out of Boston...). And that picture is now my profile here. I will say that the wedding was lovely, the bride was beautiful, the reception was a blast. And I'm waiting for my friends to email me their photos :)
Sunday night, hopped a red-eye out of Logan, landed 5:30am in Dublin, went straight to the mont, showered, and started work just before 7am... It has been a bit of a blur since. I've been working solo for 2 weeks, this second week without an SHO on top of the co-intern being away. I'm a bit tired now...
